My Dad

One week ago, on April 19th, marked the 11 year anniversary of the end of my dad's wonderful life and his struggle with brain cancer. To some extent it seems like it has been a long time since this happened, while some days it feels so new and recent still. I think it always becomes hard again when new milestones in my life happen, and I wish that my dad here to share in that time- times like high school graduation, walking me down the aisle and dancing with me at my wedding, and now the birth of my first child and his first granddaughter. I think back at how my dad loved us, his family, and would rather have spent all his time with us more than doing anything else. I just know how much he would love Brieleigh and think the world of her as well.

After finally settling on grandparent names, I told David that we needed a name for my dad. I don't want to pretend like he never existed to Brieleigh, and I do not want to just say "your grandfather" when everyone else gets a real name because after all he is as much her grandparent as the other three are. I want to be able to share those memories I had with him with her.

My dad and I at Fort Morgan, AL
(I think that is where we were)

My dad and all of his children right after Madeline was born

God has taught me so much in these 11+ years. I was reminded by a friend that God never intended for my dad to be here for my wedding, when my child was born, etc. This was God's perfect plan, and while I do not completely understand it and while I wish very strongly that he could be back with us, I know and trust that somehow this is better because this is God's will for our family. I am also constantly amazed and my faith strengthened when I see how much my mom has found her security and strength in the Lord even though I know it is still not easy for her. As another friend always said (quoting Calvin I think), "God's providence is never arbitrary."